guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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