the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize