Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
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I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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