its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
