Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have post one night stand depression
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
