Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just gift wrapped bread.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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