Ambien. No doubt about it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
