How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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