there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
