there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
