She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
