is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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