Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wish i was in the wii world.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
