I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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