dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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