Sry I called you an 8
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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