Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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