Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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