those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
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