this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
