I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
