Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
