You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
