best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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