There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
