I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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