Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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