It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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