but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
