I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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