It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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