she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
