Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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