So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize