Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
