I didn't shave. On purpose
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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