Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
