This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
