Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
