my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
