you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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