butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
