guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
