Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
