That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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