I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
