I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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