some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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