also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
