rhymes with "ouble enetration"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Randomize
