so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
