You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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