Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize