After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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