i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
