Cold hands, warm shart.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
