I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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