So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
