So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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