so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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