Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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