I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize